Tied Together With A Smile

I feel like I'm just floating right now, like nothing is actually real. I have so much to do and I'm just pushing it all back and pretending it doesn't exist. Nothing makes sense any more, I found out one of the few people I actually  class as decent is nothing but a complete tool and that they were purposely trying to annoy me. Part of me feels that since I found this out I should play along for fun, but I don't really have it in me to care right now, I'm just tired, completely. Sometimes people make me want to just drink myself to oblivion.

On another note, I went through my room the other day; I threw out pretty much everything that was from school - I really do think I had a dozen trees in there - and generally just packed up anything that I didn't particularly care about right now. But while I was doing it I learnt some fun stuff:

-I really don't like red pen
-Or the words attempt and effort
-Class is a great time for drawing penises or tallying up how many tantrums people throw in one lesson
-Little Red Riding Hood was a whore who got mad at the wolf for saying no.
-You shouldn't write English ftl on an English assessment.
-I was a sadist who didn't know how to end a story with a HEA (Amongst the ones I found were Annie, who died after going over a cliff unable to scream because her lips were sewn shut and she had a tattoo given to her saying she was a horrible person. Then Sally who blew everything up because people annoyed her.).
-Putting the words "men and women will never be equal" in an assignment to give to a feminist probably isn't a good idea.

I found so many fun things. I really wonder how I passed high school. It was generally spent doing nothing in classes and bumming at home or sleeping. Pity I can't get through Uni that way.

***

I've bundled up all of these fears inside

And I've bottled up all of this pain

And no-one or nothing can take this away

But I won't let it happen again