Mistake

I don't like mistakes. I don't like making them and I don't like seeing other people make them. I hate admitting mistakes even more.

I hate putting myself in a position where I will almost certainly do something I'll think was a mistake, I hate when other people do it for me.

I'm feeling hateful this week. I think I've been feeling hateful for the last few posts. I have an art assignment due. We have costume rehearsal in two days and I need to paint my backdrop. I can't paint. It will be interesting. I hate my art assignment.

I watch the people I converse with, am acquaintances of, I don't even know how to describe them, I'd say friends but we don't act like it, I watch them get closer to each other and I wonder if it should bother me more that everyone seems to be getting on and I try and isolate myself from them. Am I too bitter?

I went to Sydney this past weekend to catch up with old friends. It made me want to run further, it made me want to be blunt to people. It made me want to think of petty revenge just because I could. I find things exhausting. It's hard to see them.

My sopio cards came the other day. I forgot I ordered them. I was heaps happy when I saw them in my mail. Now I just need to find people to amuse me enough to draw a card for me.

Things should be easier.

***

I don’t know your face anymore.

‘Cause you are so far gone.

All my rage and scorn,

Let it off.